Virtue: Loyalty

November, 2008

It so Royal to be Loyal

Loyalty, it is very easy to be loyal to the wrong thing or person and find yourself in trouble. Therefore, it is important to think about who or what you are loyal to.

I can think of many people that I have been loyal to over the years and I cherish the memories and their continuing loyalty to me as a friend. However, I can also think of some people that I was loyal to and I ended up in trouble. I have even skirted serious trouble with the law by hanging with the wrong person at the wrong time. If I could pass on anything to my kids about loyalty, I would want them to learn to be careful who you are loyal to. You can end up in serious trouble, or you could end up with lifelong friends.

There is one to be loyal to who will never get you in trouble: God of course.

The verse for this month are:
Sunday, Nov. 2nd: Matthew 25:40 The King will reply, I tell you the truth, whatever you did for the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.

Weekly teaching point: To be loyal to God, I will help those in need.


Sunday, Nov. 9th: Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding.

Weekly teaching point: To be loyal to God means I will actually do what He wants, trusting that He knows best.

Sunday, Nov. 16th Ephesians 4:32a Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.

Weekly teaching point: We are loyal to God by treating others with kindness and forgiveness with our words and our actions.

Sunday, Nov. 23: Proverbs 12:26 The godly give good advice to their friends, the wicked lead them astray.

Weekly teaching point: To be loyal, I protect my friends.

Parents, our kids friends will effect our kids. It is my goal with this month to teach our kids to be loyal to God first, but to also be very loyal to their friends by steering their friends away from trouble.


Jesus says that if I am loyal to Him if I will help those around me in need. In fact, I should trust God's view more than my own, which means that I have to listen to/for God. At some point a friend whom I have shown loyalty will hurt me. Right now I am deciding to forgive them and when the time comes that I am hurt by my friend, I will be tenderhearted and treat them better than they deserve.

If my friend wants me to steal candy, I am not being loyal to them to go along with the their plan. I am loyal to my friend if I stand up to their bad idea and replace it with a good idea. Maybe instead of stealing candy we should go rake leaves and eat cookies at my house.

Thank you for your time and interest,
your partner in ministry,
Pastor Russ

p.s. We need a bunch of cupcakes for Sunday, Nov. 23rd. Please post a comment or email Pastor Russ if you can help.

Our virtue saying is, "Its so Royal to be Loyal." We will have a visit from the King of Cupcakes on that day. The children will be earning toppings for their cupcakes all month. We are sincerely hoping no kids will earn barbecue sauce or pickles.

How do YOU teach your children about your values?

I've been thinking about this question lately. What methods are the most effective to use to get your values across to your children?

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I know that I default to the way I was taught when I am not thinking about how I communicate what I consider most important to my children. I know that it worked to get my parents' values across to me....but my children live in a different era and are exposed to a lot more than I was ever exposed to. I *want* to be more deliberate about how I teach my children, but when I'm tired (most of the time), or rushed (again, most of the time), or just lazy, I don't think through what I am saying to my children.

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So all of this got me to thinking about the best way for my children to learn from me, and it reminded me of one of my favorite quotes, "Children rarely misquote you. Rather, they repeat word-for-word what you shouldn't have said."
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Children do most of their learning from us when we're not trying to teach them. They learn our bad habits, our irritating mannerisms, and the words we say that we don't want them to say. In other words, they learn by example moreso than lecture.

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So, how am I to teach my children the way I want them to live?
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I have to live in front of them the life I want them to emulate. I have to be an example.
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So, I have to examine my life. How am *I* living? Am I being what I want my children to become? What is my life teaching my children? Am I giving example of a life fully committed to God? Or, am I showing my children how to lazily sit in front of the TV, not being careful of what is in front of my eyes? What does the music I listen to teach my children? Am I teaching my children to gossip? Am I teaching them to care for their bodies by eating good foods and staying in shape?
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For a lot of years, I thought that being a parent was going to be easy. And frankly, if I allow myself to default to how I was raised, it *is* easy. BUT, that way does not necessarily produce the results I am looking for in my children. I am starting realize that parenting is hard work...and the hardest part of it is in evaluating myself, and living in such a way that I am being

the right example to my children.

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So, how do YOU teach your children your values?

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Adventures in childrearing: Milestones

(originally posted 08/19/08 at A Day in the Life of a Mom of Six)

Mile marker along the National Road, located in Columbus, Ohio. Digital photo taken July 15, 2005.

Do you know what a Milestone was in ancient times?

From Wikipedia:

Milestones were originally stone obelisks – made from granite, marble, or whatever
local stone was available – and later concrete posts. They were widely used by Roman Empire road builders and were an important part of any Roman road network, in which when the distance travelled per day was only a few miles in some cases.

In our children, we watch carefully (especially with our first child) for milestones of a different nature. We want to make sure they're growing and maturing at a good rate...we want to make sure there are not things of a physical nature holding them back. This is why there are periodic doctor's visits and growth charts.

When they're babies, we celebrate each little milestone...first smile? Break out the camera! First tooth? Call the in-laws! First birthday? PARTY TIME with the whole extended family!

As they grow, it seems like our enthusiasm for celebrating everything about our children wanes a bit...perhaps we've gotten busy with little things like work and keeping the house clean.

Perhaps we're dealing with more pressing issues such as health problems or financial stressors. Whatever the reason, we tend to need bigger reasons to break out the celebratory cameras and party streamers.

As adults, we have often gotten to the point where we don't like to celebrate our birthdays quite as much...maybe because they're a reminder that we're not getting any younger. Our children NEED us to keep celebrating with them. They need to know that we enjoy their company and want to celebrate their accomplishments. They need to know that we are proud of them.

Lately I've heard of people spending more and more money on birthday parties and such...but our children do not have to have the extravaganza that seems to be the norm now...they want US...OUR TIME, our presence, and our attention. Even for those of us who are not the most creative people in the world, spending some time one-on-one with our children lets them know that we WANT to be with them. Something as small as discussing the accomplishment of the day over dinner can tell your child that you're proud of his newest milestone.

So, do you have a milestone to celebrate with your child today? Break out the camera! Or at least, sit down and talk it over with them.